Are you ready for this? The biggest kept secret every great host knows is : it's all about you. Yep you heard me. The secret is You! Now before you flip back to searching for more hosting tips let me tell you why you are your best kept hosting Secret.

1. People want to be with YOU :

If you're inviting friends, family, friends of friends, coworkers, neighbors, schoolmates... guess what? They're saying yes to coming because they want to hang out with you! Your guests will have the best time ever if you are focused on them and not worrying about everything being picture perfect.

I've been to those types of events before, where the host was more consumed with everything being set just right that they barely had a moment to spend with the guests they invited! So, I made a decision to be more consumed with the people than the stuff.

Let's be honest - hosting is a boat load of work and I'm all in for doing the work but ONLY because I want to enjoy an evening at the table with friends. If you take out the reward for the work it makes the work not worth it!

Take the time you need before the event, or dinner, or party to get it all set up and looking great. But once your people arrive - switch gears. See them. Focus on them. My rule? If it didn't happen before they arrived than it wasn't that important so let it go!

Write yourself a reminder as to WHY you are inviting people over. Is it to show them the latest decor trends? Maybe you want to show them how you are the next Martha Stewart? ;)

I'm guessing it's so you can spend time together, enjoying a meal together, talking about life or celebrating a special someone or something. Keep that as your focus and every guest will leave feeling like they were seen and valued.

2. Being 'ready' does not mean YOU got everything done, it means YOU are ready to invite people in

One of the best things you can do as you're prepping for your party is to leave a few things intentionally undone. Honestly do it. Don't get every little thing accomplished. Be strategic and leave stuff to be done with your guests once they arrive.

As they come in they'll ask what can I do to help? So be ready with an answer : 'can you light the candles?', 'can you help me toss the salad', 'can you slice the bread', 'can you open the wine'? People love being part of the action. Plus it takes a bit of that beginning of the party awkwardness away when you give them a job to do.

And better yet, it invites everyone in to the kitchen. Into the action so you can do life together.

3. YOU set the tone

This is the big one. Really it's everything.

Have you been to a friends house or a party and the host was 100% stressed out? How did it make you feel? Did you feel like you could relax? Nope - and that's the point.

In order for your guests to feel relaxed, in order for them to enjoy the evening they need to see and FEEL that you are relaxed and enjoying it as well.

So do whatever you need to do to make sure you're ready to kick your feet up and enjoy hosting. Hear me on this - being relaxed and ready to enjoy doesn't mean that you won't still be finishing things in the kitchen, serving food, moving dishes, checking on drinks... it means that in the midst of all of it you'll be enjoying it. Not running around like a chicken with your head cut off, stress ball status.

I've found that the easiest way to make it stress free is to be realistic about what we're going to make for the meal AND ask for help.

Everything is better with friends!

If you want even more tips, here is a link to download our How To Host a Dinner that Makes a Difference Guide. Plus our book Dinner Changes Everything is filled with even more great tips, including full menus, recipes and more!